Ah, the joys of playing softball after a spinal fusion. First softball game of the year is tomorrow! I have played since fifth grade when I pitched my way from a Minor onto a Major Little League team my first year.
Funny side note: I didn’t start playing earlier because when dad asked me if I wanted to play softball, I asked him what color the uniforms were. He figured if I was worried about the color of my uniform, I probably didn’t have what it takes to play. Truthfully, I wanted to know the color because I’m very visual and wanted to visualize myself playing. A slight misunderstanding resulting in a delay to my softball career.
I pitched until high school, when I specialized in middle infield (mostly second base). I had the incredible opportunity to play on a traveling ASA team called the Omaha Quakes. Awesome players, almost all of whom went on to play collegiate-level fastpitch. My very talented cousins landed me that gig.
I could move, juke, jive, dive, and everything in between. I knew that there wasn’t much getting past me. And I knew exactly how to accomplish that.
Moving forward: Softball after the Spinal Fusion
It was confusing at first. I couldn’t play for about 3 years, then when I started again things were different. Sure, slowpitch and fastpitch are two completely different beasts. But the fundamentals should be there. Why couldn’t I move like I used to? How am I missing the ball? What the what?
It dawned on me. My body is different. Of course my ability to move will be different. My reaction time might be just as fast in my mind, but my body will be slower. I subconsciously anticipate the pain, which gets in the way.
Sometimes it feels as though I am trapped in a different body. I know this happens to everyone. But usually it’s a gradual process, part of aging. For me, it was immediate and jarring. Whereas I used to dive toward second, grab the ball, pop up on my knee, and wing that thing to first, now sometimes I dive toward second…and miss the ball. And every time that happens my first thought is: WHAT? Then I remember.
Learning my new body and adjusting to its new movements is taking years. I’m figuring out when it’s just not worth it to throw myself into the dirt (the answer often still seems to be: IT IS!! DOWN NOW!!). I still out-sprint almost anyone on the field. And I look deceptively weak, but I can out-throw almost anyone too. I use those things to my advantage.
So, it’s not all bad. I’ve learned how to tone down my competitiveness and actually enjoy other aspects of sports, including softball. My patience and acceptance grows each new season. I’m a different player. In some ways, I’m a better player. And I’m just thankful I can still play.
What do you think?